the first rule of mustache march is...
Lets get things straight from the get go shall we. Mustache March is not a contest. As we point out in our manifesto, it's a cultural movement. For a month. Short-lived by cultural standards, Mustache March will burn brightly while it does. Like most cultural movements, there are "rules" governing who is part of the movement and who is not. The following are the rules and regulations that will govern Mustache March's short, but brilliant life span.
1. All registered participants must be clean-shaven on March 1st, unless they are competing in the pre-existing condition class.
2. Facial hair of any variety is allowed until March 15th, after which point only a mustache is allowed. A mustache is defined as an island of hair that is at least 1cm (root to root) from the nearest body of facial hair. A mustache is an island. Get it? No isthmuses or peninsulas allowed.
3. Registered participants who shave off their mustache prior to judging, or those who refuse to obey to the "island" rule after March 15th are disqualified. Disqualification includes a $20 payment of personal monies to our selected charity, the MACC Fund.
4. Participants will be subjected to a minimum of 2 photographs (before and after) during the course of Mustache March for documentation/humiliation purposes. Additional photography will be solicited. It is highly recommended that you comply to this solicitation for humiliation purposes.
5. Participants will be given a pledge sheet when they register. This sheet and all donations must be turned in prior to judging on March 31st.
Remember, everyone is a winner in Mustache March. Some people are just more follicularly-gifted than others. We're judging mustaches here folks, not individuals. With that said, here are the award categories.
Best of Show
The name basically sums it up. This award is reserved for the most spectacular specimen produced over the course of the month. This is utterly subjective to the judge's personal opinion, no matter how revealing that may be.
When you look at this mustache, goosebumps will appear in places you didn't know you had follicles. If you saw a layman on the street with this mustache, you'd warn other peoples children about this man.
Sometimes the stars align and a man becomes something... more, with a mustache. This award is given to the mustache that makes a man greater than the sum of his otherwise wholly inadequate parts.
The little follicles that couldn't. The recipient of this award can only take solace in the fact that this is all for charity.
Preexisting Condition Class Award
This is an wholly separate class reserved for the few, proud men who choose to wear a mustache every day of their glorious lives. Members of this class are not required to shave their existing mustaches on March 1st, but they are subject to rule #2 listed above. There is only one award for this class, and members of this class are not eligible for any other award categories. Members of this class are encouraged to go for "trick" points as their thick, luxurious, upper-lip base has long been established.
judgement day/chili cook-off
All remaining participants must attend the March 31st judging ceremony. For additional details, please visit the event section of the site.
If you have a question regarding mustache march, please contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
What if I can't grow a mustache - can I be a part of mustache march?
Of course you can! We need pledges from as many people as possible. You do not need to be a participant to collect donations.
Who is the Follicle Freedom Foundation?
If you have to ask, you don't need to know.
Is that a Nike logo on your site?
No. It's a mustache.